Talking to Your Partner About Tantra
So you’ve become informed about the benefits of tantra, and perhaps you’ve even familiarized yourself with different types of tantra (if you haven’t, you can do so here!) You’re convinced that the practice of tantra could benefit your relationship, and it’s something you really want to try.
It’s true that tantra can take your connection with your partner to the next level, and the journey of exploring the awakening power of tantra with someone else can be powerfully intimate and life-changing. The question is - how do you talk to your partner about practicing tantra together without weirding them out? We’ve got a few tips on how you can approach this idea with a less-convinced partner.
Start Slow
The last thing that you want to do when introducing an idea like tantra to your partner is to corner them and start talking their ear off about all the amazing things you’ve learned! They’re starting from zero, so a casual introduction might work best. Choose a time, a place that is low pressure to start introducing the concept. Just after a fight or an awkward sexual encounter is not the time - try bringing it up as a topic of conversation on a walk or a car ride. Leave it at, “Isn’t that interesting?”
Talk about tantra as a way to further build your intimacy
Be Positive
Make sure you’ve laid the groundwork for your partner to know that you enjoy them sexually and you accept them for who they are. Tantra isn’t meant to be a bandaid for a dysfunctional relationship. Your partner should feel that they can fulfill you sexually without tantra, in order to keep from feeling pressure that they aren’t measuring up. Talk about tantra as a way to further build your intimacy, not as a way to fix a lack of intimacy, and never use it as a way to belittle your partner’s sexual or relational skills.
Express your authentic desire to connect with your partner on a deeper level
Be Honest - And Let Them Do The Same
Part of the joy of being in a relationship is being able to bring your full, true self to your partner. Anyone in a relationship knows it’s not necessary - or realistic - to agree on everything, but you should be able to be honest about your desires. Express your authentic desire to connect with your partner on a deeper level, and to find new levels of sexual connection. By doing this you’re not only moving closer to incorporating tantra into your relationship, you’re already building intimacy.
Of course, if you have space to be open and honest with your partner, you must provide them space for the same. Your partner may not want to try tantra - and that is their choice. Be aware when being belittled or mocked by your partner, having a respectful conversation about your desires is part of being in a healthy relationship.
Find a Tantra Coach
If you and your partner are ready to incorporate the power of tantra into your relationship, consider hiring a coach. Here at IamTente, we offer couples coaching and walk you through tantric concepts like balanced energy, sexual exploration, and conscious communication. Tantra is a big concept to explore, and it’s hard to get a handle on it without expert guidance.
No matter what you and your partner decide, tantra is meant to bring you closer together, not drive you apart. If your partner doesn’t seem open to the idea, just be patient and trust that after observing the benefits of tantra in your own life, they will want to be a part as well.